How Guided Conversations Can Help Leaders with Challenging Topics and Result in Positive Actions

Benefits of Guided Conversations

When employees feel their supervisor cares for them, they are more positive and productive. Morale and retention increase. Creating a safe space for open and honest discussion about what employees feel, think, and perceive without retaliation is an essential part of a resilient, diverse, and inclusive organization. But many times, leaders’ concerns about saying the wrong thing and making matters worse or about creating a perception of just checking the box gets in the way. Leaders frequently decide doing nothing is better than doing it wrong.

Face-to-Face: In-Person or Virtually

Ideally, it’s best to have these conversations in person, but they can be conducted effectively with video conferencing tools. All participants should be highly encouraged to use the video feature. It’s important for participants to see each other, whether it’s just a leader and one staff member or a whole group using the gallery view. Before the call, leaders should communicate the logistics, timeframe and norms, such as an expectation that each participant is allowed to speak without interruption.

Tips for One-on-One and Team Meetings

Be Well-Prepared

Schedule time to think about what you want the purpose of the conversation to be — what you want to get out of the conversation and what you want your employees to get out of the conversation. Craft clear, sequential, and open-ended questions to guide the conversation and encourage responses of differing perspectives, such as:

• What things are you doing to manage work and life during these uncertain times?
• What challenges are you facing as you continue to work remotely or start to work onsite?
• What impact is the current racial tension having on you and your ability to work?
• What can I do to make this a safe space to have discussions about these issues?
• How can I support you?
• What could be a helpful next step or potential action item?
• What do you take with you as a result of this conversation?

Communicate with Your Staff

Let your team know that you want to have a conversation with them to check on their well-being and allow them to share their ideas regarding what the organization can do to support them. Let them know that participation is voluntary and they can opt-out before or at any time during the conversation.

Set the Rules for Engagement

As a leader, you need to provide a safe way for people to express themselves while still maintaining respect for all involved by setting and ensuring participants adhere to norms:

• Listen actively and generously. Be fully present and suspend judgment and interpretation.
• Ask open-ended questions from a place of curiosity.
• Before you ask a question, consider how you would feel if you were asked it.
• Show empathy. Genuinely strive to discover how others see the world and try to put yourself in their shoes.
• Give grace. It’s okay that people are not feeling okay.
• Maintain the confidentiality of this dialogue.
• Seek to understand, not to convince.
• Assume every person is participating with the best intentions.

Manage Your Emotions

Anticipate what might be difficult for you. Plan how you will remain in control of your emotions throughout the conversation, display empathy, and be open to points of view that differ from yours. Before the conversation, reflect on your own hot buttons and sensitivities and any positive or negative beliefs you have learned about interacting with people who are different from you.

Manage Others’ Emotions

Difficult conversations can generate strong emotions. Speak slowly, directly and calmly—people tend to match each other’s volumes, pace, and tone. If someone sheds tears, don’t leap to the rescue — sometimes silence is a powerful tool to make a point of the burdens some colleagues carry. If the conversation gets out of control, you can always say, “Why don’t we take a break and reconvene at another time.”

Don’t Try to Have All the Answers

During difficult conversations, leaders may feel pressure to have all the answers—but it’s very reasonable not to and better to admit that you don’t. You can say, “I have to admit, I don’t know what the answer to that question is,” or “All I can do is speak for myself,” or “What do others think?”

Access Coaching and Facilitation

One-on-one coaching for guided conversations can equip you with the tools and resources you need to feel confident and informed. Having a team meeting or virtual session run by an experienced facilitator can be very productive and help you and your team plan to make changes and move forward. For years, LMI has been helping government clients with diversity and inclusion coaching and training, and, more recently, with COVID-19, telework, social equity, and justice. If you’re ready to help your people feel supported and heard, and to enable your team to make positive progress and advance the organization’s mission, contact us today.